I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
two words...techno handjob
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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