he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
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just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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