She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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