Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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