um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize