He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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