life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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