She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
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Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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