explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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