it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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