btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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