that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
They have beer where we have blood.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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