Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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