Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.

(248): View more from Michigan

hah, sarcasm, classic

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(212): Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning. (248): hah, sarcasm, classic http://tfl.nu/x41v

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(713): View more from Texas

I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...

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(713): I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way... http://tfl.nu/0604

Replies (12) Good night (667) Bad night (1326)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.

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(609): i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th. http://tfl.nu/t2dt

Replies (18) Good night (2368) Bad night (822) Order T-Shirt
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(480): View more from Arizona

You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI

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(480): You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI http://tfl.nu/lcvv

Replies (24) Good night (6425) Bad night (1697) Order T-Shirt
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(607): View more from New York

I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.

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(607): I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome. http://tfl.nu/vi3x

Replies (32) Good night (9947) Bad night (719) Order T-Shirt
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(309): View more from Illinois

So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.

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(309): So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar. http://tfl.nu/wvqn

Replies (20) Good night (6836) Bad night (880) Order T-Shirt
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(908): View more from New Jersey

just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?

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(908): just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign? http://tfl.nu/nghc

Replies (20) Good night (5022) Bad night (785) Order T-Shirt
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(989): View more from Michigan

dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away

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(989): dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away http://tfl.nu/dlah

Replies (30) Good night (1592) Bad night (7558)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.

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(608): I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her. http://tfl.nu/mczp

Replies (28) Good night (2498) Bad night (11868)
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(224): View more from Illinois

so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.

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(224): so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now. http://tfl.nu/4hn1

Replies (33) Good night (12551) Bad night (1308)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore

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(732): My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore http://tfl.nu/2pmj

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(650): View more from California

Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.

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(650): Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila. http://tfl.nu/lwvd

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(702): View more from Nevada

they just started filling water ballons with vodka.

(1-702): View more from Nevada

on my way.

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(702): they just started filling water ballons with vodka. (1-702): on my way. http://tfl.nu/jo3z

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(714): View more from California

The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.

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(714): The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet. http://tfl.nu/xgey

Replies (12) Good night (2224) Bad night (788)
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(305): View more from Florida

You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...

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(305): You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol... http://tfl.nu/hrys

Replies (7) Good night (428) Bad night (803) Order T-Shirt

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