we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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