I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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