tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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