saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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