eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize