So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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