This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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