I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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