Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize