i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize