He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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