We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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