I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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