How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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