I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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