trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
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I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
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Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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