you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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