So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize