And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize