is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
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drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
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I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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