My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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