So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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