So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
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