she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize