I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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