Did you just see the Batmobile???
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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