We won't sleep together?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize