There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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