the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize