You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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