well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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