When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize