i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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