does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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