i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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