toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
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He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
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I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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